dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?

i had a class in college (isn't that so weird to say?!? i feel like writers always start a chapter in one of their books with those six words...and now i said them...that kinda makes me old) maybe i should start over..

i had a class in college where we were discussing consumer reactions to products/services and the professor told us that the majority of the time when people go out of their way to comment on a product or service, it is to complain. I am not surprised by this fact at all, but it did make me smile a bit because I do not fall into that majority. Au Contraire, I LOVE telling everyone and anyone about positive experiences that I have had. Maybe its the marketer in me, maybe its just that I want everyone to be happy, maybe its just because I like to talk -- but if I like something that I bought, or did, or whatever, I become its number one advocate. For example: I have been watching 30 rock, because I love Tina Fey and a couple weeks ago I saw an ad for the 3rd season premier, and I said to myself, "self, you should watch that show" so thats what i have been doing and I LOVE it, I think its amazing. 2 weeks ago the only thing I knew of Alec Baldwin is gossip I have read about him on Perez or in people...but now, I LOVE him. He is a really amazing actor. The show is just great. Which is pretty much where this is all coming from. I am sitting here watching it and thinking how much I love it, which got me thinking about talking about things that I love, which reminded me of that class I took in college!

But say you go out to dinner, and its a new resturant, you have never been there before, and you have this really amazing experience...why not tell people? Businesses rely on word of mouth...unless they suck and hope people dont talk about their terrible experiences..but that is exactly what people talk about, BAD experiences...don't get me wrong, I'm all for venting about bad service and bad products...ha, obviously. But I think it is equally important to talk about good things too. Think about it this way: if you experience something reallly really great and don't tell anyone and the word doesn't spread, it could go out of business and you lose your really really great wonderful thing, or whatever...LIKE Arrested Development. Barely anyone knew how amazing that show was until AFTER IT WAS CANCELLED!!! That sucks!!! We, as a society were punished because the people who knew it was awesome while it was still being aired did not promote it to others!!

i have no idea where I am going with this...basically its Wednesday afternoon...I need a little break from TV (ha, who thought that day would come), I am waiting for my mama to come home and give me her Macy's credit card (still broke) and I felt like writing...but to stay on topic I will share two little stories from the past couple days.

Preface: recently I decided that I should start drinking more coffee/espresso based beverages because they fill me up and make me not hungry, which makes me not eat, which wil hopefully make me lose weight, which will hopefully get people to stop calling me fat....so I have been going to starbucks more frequently and getting nonfat pumpkin spice lattes because they are yummmmy in my tummy!! and this past weekend I was in the proximity of a Starbucks and I was gonna go get one, but then I was thinking and I was like, "hmmm, you essentially are broke, and the money you do have, you earn by bringing medicine to the neighbors or ironing your fathers shirts, or looking in the couch coushins for change...so maybe you should stop paying $5 for a latte multiple times a week" so, then I decided I should just buy the SYRUP because I have an espresso machine at home...and buying the syrup would save me money in the long run!! yay for being smart! but THEN when I got to Starbucks, the guy told me that they can't sell any of the promotional flavors (i.e.; the pumpkin spice) :( so i was sad...but then he told me that there is a company called Monin who makes pumpkin spice syrup and that they sell it at HOME GOODS...what a nice guy!! ok, that is the end of the preface, hahah if anyone is reading this you are probably like what the fuck is going on...but arent you always like that when you read hotpinkglitter?!?!

OK, so its Monday, and I am in Home Goods...and I am looking around in the food part and I see different syrups but nothing called Monin, and nothing pumpkin...so I go to the counter and ask the chick about it...and she is like "umm, I am not sure, I work in the Marshall's part of the store, let me get someone from Home Goods up here" So she makes an announcement asking for a Home Goods rep to come to the counter for customer assistance...and like 5 minutes go by and finally this chick comes up and she doesnt even approach me, so I start to walk up to her and I said "do you know if you have any Monin syrup?" and she was like "ummm i don't know" and I said "ok, well do you know if you have and pumpkin flavored syrup" and she shrugs her fucking shoulders...and I'm like "OK...if you DID have it, where would it be?"and WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW WHAT THAT STUPID GOOD FOR NOTHING BITCH SAID TO ME?!!? she says "i don't know, you gotta look around."
or something along those lines...and I"m like ummmm do you work here bitch?! what the fuck?! i was about to ask to talk to her manager because she was so rude, and I hate rude people...but i didnt feel like being in that stupid store anymore...but i mean REALLY?!?! fucking bitch...what the fuck are her job responsibilities?? use up oxygen and be good-for-nothing?! ughhh


my other story is not really so much a story...but yesterday I went to blockbuster to get the next 2 30 rock disks and on my way home i had to get milk...and i decided to go to swiss farms, which i have never done before, and i thought it was just super duper!! it was quick and easy, and the kid working there was just cute as can be and super nice and friendly...and i now love swiss farms!! WOOHOO for drive thru convenience and superb customer service!!

ok..have to go to macy's to get some things...

PHILLIES. WORLD SERIES. GAME 1. TONIGHT!!!!!

Au revoir

you say i'm crazy, i got your crazy

i am feeling very frustrated at the moment. i just cannot understand why no one wants to hire me...i am pretty awesome, at least to the naked eye. I am fun, and outgoing, and the perfect mixture of cute and professional...and aside from being a fat lard, i'm not so bad looking....i graduated from college, a business major with a minor...blahh, its just so annoying...i dont know if the worst part of it all is the fact that my parents think this is somehow my fault or the fact that i am so sadly broke....the only light in my life at the moment is britney spears and her new single womanizer...oh and 30 rock bc i started watching it and i really love it :)

oh...and i'm a bit overjoyed at mccain's lack of popularity in the polls, i really hate him and his smug stupid smile


and Phillies in the WORLD SERIES on wednesday wooohoooo!

ok, so obviously (especially for anyone who knows me) there is a whole lot of good in my life, i mean outside of the fact that i, for whatever reason, appear unfit to potential employers; my life is pretty fantastic and honestly, maybe even enviable...i have the best family in the entire world, and that i tell you with one hundred percent confidence...and that alone makes me luckier than 99% of people....and it is also what reallly keeps me motivated on days like today when im feeling blue and unimportant and unworthy and completely and entirely useless....and i have an amazing boyfriend, who i'm completely grateful for, even though i'm fairly certain he doesnt really like me anymore.....and the cutest puppy...and i really just take the people in my life for granted, which i dont mean to do cause the people in my life essentially, ARE my life..

and I miss my friends...like all my friends...I miss old best friends who I don't talk to anymore...and I miss high school friends who live in different states now.....and I miss the select few really good friends I made in college...its hard to live 2 seconds away from someone for 4 years, and then live over 2 hours away from them...especiallllly, when such people are terrrrible with telephone correspondence...hhaha, that is funny only to me...but I'm talking about my friend Heather. She is honestly...hmm, she is the kind of person that everyone wants to be friends with...she is actually HARD to make plans with because well A) she can be a bit of a space case but, more so B) there are always 25 other people who are trying to make plans with her too..my head is seriously a mess right now because as I am sitting here thinking about her, there are a thousand different things I could say...and i'm having all these flashbacks of the times we had...but i'm gonna try to organize my brain for a moment and explain some more about why Heather is one of the greatest people I know and why I miss her so much..

i am going to write in purple because even though i DESPISE the color...miss heather loves it...OK, so we met freshman year, lived on the same floor...and since then she has been this constant in my life...and when i say constant, i mean CONSTANT...because for as much as it drove me nuts when she didnt call me back, or answer her phone, she was always there...this girl listened to me talk, and talk, and TALK about everything, literally...20 degrees outside and i want a cigarette and i need someone to talk to...she was there, coatless and all :) honestly, by senior year, during library trips, it would be heather (who doesnt smoke) who would say to me, "meet in an hour for a cigarette break"? just so we could talk...

i wont go into detail...but i had a rough high school experience that made me really cautious about choosing friends, and who i could trust, and etc...and i took that to college with me...and I never had a doubt about Heather, if anything I have always felt really really lucky to have her as a friend...i probably actually took advantage of her friendship in the same way i take advantage of my relationships with my family members....i guess maybe it is hard to recognize how important someone is to your everyday life until they arent in it anymore..

basically, anyone who willingly puts up with me day after day deserves credit...and Heather is really the only person in my life who never made it seem like that....never made it out to be a chore to be with me, and never made me think that she was "putting up" with me...and although she is probably the nicest person I have ever met, I don't think she ever felt that way...I think that she understands me, probably better than anyone else, and we share a lot of common thoughts and interests...and when i think of college, i think of her. and when i think of what a friend is, i think of her...which i guess leads me back to how all of this started because i was saying how in reality my life is not bad at all...and i was saying all the amazing things in it...and then i realized that there was something missing from my life at the moment...and that is friends...so, i wish i had some more friends around...and it makes me sad that i dont...but i am so appreciative for the friends that i have...even if they all live in stupid other states...

ok so now that my spirits have gone from down to up and back to down....i think i am going to teach myself the dance beyonce does in single ladies...because time is one thing i most definitely have

a subtle message

yayyy for my lovely sister BT who just introduced me to one of Beyonce's new singles, Single Ladies...it is super fun, and ALSO, it conveys a WONDERFUL message...actually, its kinda weird that beyonce would sing a song that has my motto in it...."if you like it then you should have put a ring on it" :) mmhmm....

ya, so enjoy :) i have to go get on with my super busy day...you know, gotta get dressed, work on cleanin my room some more, go bring my sister her not-so-surprise lunch...bother people at her work for awhile, come home, play dress up with the puppy....ah, be jealous

• Beyonc�
• New Music

hotpinkglitter proudly presents:

the cutest damn thing you've EVER seen!!!

yay phillies!!

i heart anderson

I LOVE ANDERSON COOPER!!!

that's all

L'chai-im!

once upon a time there was a girl who went to genuardis to pick up a few items on a tuesday night in october...i will now recount the events of the little trip to the super market..

i leave the house around 8pm..so i'm driving and this ASSHOLE is behind me and he is seriously up my ass and i'm sorry if i sound so lame but the speed limit is 35 mph...i'm going 40ish...its dark, the road is windy, there are TONS of deer all over this area all of the time, oh and one more small detail...i already got one speeding ticket i couldnt pay (and one dumb ticket i couldnt pay) so i've realllly been making an effort to follow the speed limit because I HAVE NO MONEY!! so this f'n douche is just up my ass and he's driving me out of my MIND...where the fuck is he in such a rush to get to on a tuesday night??! ugh i hate people, i really do...like if I had to slam on the breaks for any reason he would have been inside of my car, he would have litterally been fucking my car up the ass...but i digress

then i get to the store...i go inside, and i'm doing my shopping (im super pissed because they dont sell W Magazine and I realllly need the new issue) and blahh blah blah everything is just super duper..and then I get in line, well after this moron lady got the hell out of my way...so i'm in line and putting my stuff on the thing and the kid is scanning and then he is done and i am trying to bag my stuff and he is looking at me and wants me to pay..and then he comes over and puts this case of iced tea in the top part of my cart...and so i pay him..and the stupid fucking moronic trig woman behind me is pushing her cart all the way up like she is gonna start bagging her shit THAT THE KID HADNT EVEN BEGUN RINGING UP YET...LIKEE HE WAS STILL GIVING ME MY CHANGE AND STUFF and this dumb cunt is pushing me out of the way..so my change comes out of the little change thing and i basically have to jump into her cart to get my change (and yes, i need my change, i'm broke...like i'm look in the seat cushions for loose change broke) AND then the kid stops helping me, and starts ringing her up and ALL OF MY SHIT IS STILL SITTING THERE UNBAGGED AND HERE COMES HER FUCKING FOOD!!!! so i'm trying to scramble to put my money away, and move the iced tea that the idiot put in the top of my cart so that i could put my eggs there..and bag all my crap and put it in my cart and i'm basically getting shoved out of the way...

i am just incredulous that people can be so inconsiderate and rude, and it makes me sad because it makes me kinda hate people and i love people so i dont want to hate them...but seriously? i thought i was going to explode as i was driving home because i was so out of my mind angry and disturbed that people are such assholes

so hopefully that paints an accurate picture of the genuardi's trip from hell...

c'est la vie

catorce de octubre (its kinda like cinco de mayo)

let me just say how much i love kelly ripa...because she is pretty much my favorite person in the whole universe...

which is a good lead in to this little story: yesterday my father comes home in an uncharacteristic, foul mood...and as he is telling me how terrible i am and how i do nothing with my life he is mixing it in with some story about southwest airlines and their check-in process and how it has changed and how he asked my sister to check him in but she couldn't for some reason (to fill in the missing details...he and some friends are going to fla. tomorrow for a couple days)

OK...so he is rambling all of this off and i'm kinda listening, kinda trying to figure out what he is getting to...and then he says something along the lines of "so i need you to check me in, you can only do it 24 hours prior to when the flight boards, which would be 9 something so, if you're gonna be napping then set an alarm, or do whatever you need to do so you get up"

OK.....TIME OUT! i don't even know where to begin here....how about with the fact that I was asked second? thats rude. but that doesnt actually really bother me. what BOTHERS me and is upsetting to me is the whole "if you're gonna be napping thing" (i'm not even all that upset about the fact that he was telling me to do him a favor and not even asking) but, as I told my friend Stephanie yesterday -- the fact that he said "if you're gonna be napping" is offensive for TWO reasons....NUMBER 1: i am up every morning at 7 AM, I am downstairs, and I more often than not...do not go back to sleep ( at least not until nap time, which is not until sometime after noon) and NUMBER 2: if you know me AT ALL....you know that EVERY M-F from 9 AM until 10 AM I am awake and watching my very favorite program, Regis & Kelly...it is sadly the highlight of my day...and I love it...and of course I would not be "napping" and missing my favorite part of the day --ESPECIALLY TODAY...bc Andersoon Cooper cohosted with Kelly, and I lovvveeee him. mmhmm

on another note...i remain unemployed...and i'm thinking that is not going to change....I really do not want to go back to waitressing...it makes me tired just thinking about it..I applied to Nordstroms yesterday online...so maybe that will work out (NOT! nothing ever works out) plus when I was talking to my friend Stephanie about possibly working retail in the mall, I told her that I would never end up bringing home a pay check -- but she said that was OK as long as I waas out doing something that I would feel better and my parents would feel better...however she also told me that I need to stop doing things to make my parents happy and work more on doing things to make myself happy...blah, we'll see how that works out

my PHILLIES continued to kick ass last night...woohoo. it was so weird, Victorino came up to bat in the 8th inning and I SWEAR I felt something inside, I KNEW he was gonna hit a home run...and I had a similar feeling when Matt Stairs came up to the plate...I was like "he is a big boy, I bet he can reallllly hit a baseball" and then he did! It was amazing...I love the Phillies so much! I especially love Utley and Madson and Werth....yummy

one more game fellas!!! i believe in you!!!!!

today's agenda: continue organization of closets...what a thrill ride

reflecting on the week..and the past twenty two years

Since I am playing around with my blog settings, and the stupid world is falling apart and hence a "news special report" has interrupted my very favorite program--i figured i would just do a little bit of bloggging, since i'm a blogger and all, and that is what us bloggers do

in attempt to make my additions to hotpinkglitter a tad more frequent, I am trying something new -- which is not only taking to the blog at times of ultimate fury...but rather just...whenever :) SO, what does that mean? that means that postings may be random thoughts and feelings, and much like my mind---they may jump from topic to topic with no relation between the two...that makes sense in my brain, not so sure if it does outside of the nyrb-box....

so..i think the first thing i really need to address is how upset I am with umm my current situation...I graduated from college nearly FIVE months ago...and I can't find a job for the life of me...ok so what does that really mean..

• would you like to know what concerns me the very, VERY most?? ok..everytime I am talking to someone about how I can't find a job (which is pretty much a lot bc I will talk to anyone who looks at me and tell them my life story...likeee people who check me out at the grocery store, mmhmm they are my best friends) do you want to know what people ALWAYS say?? they always make some sort of comment along the lines of "oh i bet you do (want a job), you probably just need to get out of the house!"umm, ok, is something wrong with me??? I love being home and having nothing to do, I love my little routine, I love hanging out with the puppy all day...I really enjoy cleaning up around the house, and doing laundry, and organizing things.....but everyone is REALLY making me feel like I should be so bored and hating my life and blah blah blah...honestly, i really really do not mind being home -- that is NOT why i so badly want a job
• MONEY that is why I want,no that is why I NEED a job! i have worked since I was 15 years old...and that doesnt even count the babysitting I did starting at age 11 or 12.....I NEED to have money, I need to be able to buy things...I love things, I love buying things. I love HAVING things....and while I have been called a spoiled brat a few times....I'm really not...my parents don't say oh ok princess you want it, you got it! my siblings would probably disagree with this, because I mean...I do get a lot of things, probably things that most people don't get, and I am soo entirely more than grateful for everything that I have, but I mean I want to see something and be able to buy it if i want it --buy it for myself, with my money! and i want to SAVE money...I want to get an apartment at some point...and I want it to be nice, and I want to buy nice things for it....and I want to save money for my future --- i want lots of babies...and i'm not bringing anything into this world until i am 100% able to give that child everything that it would ever NEED, let alone be able to give my children want they want. That is not up for debate. I WILL have children and they WILL have everything they need
• ok, so there it is...i'm sure a lot of people would disagree with my motives...but i need to start earning money...i need to be able to buy my family presents, really nice presents, because that is so beyond important to me...and i havent been able to buy anyone a present in forever and it tears me apart inside, it makes me so upset and i feel like the worst person in the whole entire universe -- here i am, the luckiest person ever, with the greatest family who would honestly do anything for me, and i cant even afford to buy anyone a fucking present...thats the most terrible feeling...and i know, here I am again, whining about such petty things as the whole world is deteriorating....but if you don't like it---go fuck yourself and stop reading my shit...thanks

on a somewhat similar note -- my mother and i were at our neighbors the other night (a really nice elderly couple) and we're sitting there talking...and would you like to know what Mr. D told us?? He said that my generation is pretty much fucked (in so many words) for the future...he said that CHINA was going to take over our country....and he went on and on.....so that was realllly uplifting...cause I'm not anal and paranoid and crazy enough...but then people go ahead and put this shit into my head....this man is telling me my life is fucked and I am the sort of person who sees a fender bender happen and cries and convinces herself that she will get into a car accident -- NOT GOOD...nope

which reminds me...i dont know whose reading this, and i dont know if anyone does, or anyone will, but if you are reading this....please, please, please vote for Obama...please don't be an asshole and not vote...and please just vote for Obama...I have thus far steered clear of the whole political world...but I mean, when everything is pointing in the direction of the world falling apart, and i have people telling me how screwed i am for the future....i feel compelled to speak up. i do understand that no matter who is president...fixing everything that has gone wrong is going to take a very very long time...i understand. but do you understand that we need someone to set us on the right path? we need someone who is not Bush, and who doesn't have anything in common with Bush to lead us, and direct us, and begin to FIX us. I have received a lot of shit from people (people i really care about and love) about how I know nothing about politics and this and that. Well I know that I agree with a lot of what Obama says, and I know that I disagree with a lot of what McCain says, and I know that Palin is a fucking moron, which says a lot for McCain, and his executive decisions...and I know that I want to continue living in the America that I grew up in, and I want my children and their children, and etc. to all grow up in a BETTER America than what I have known for twenty two years...not a Worse one...

and oh please oh please let me add this..because i was MORE than IRATE on thursday night watching the debate...and not really from anything that was SAID. But the way that John McCain conducted himself throughout that debate was disgusting! He was such a fucking asshole to Obama the entire time, he was rude, and he was inappropriate (umm "this one over here") and he was just terrible. And that is just half of how gross he was...while he was being a complete prick to Obama...he was being such a KISS ASS to the moderator and to the audience, "oh my friends" "oh thank you for asking such a wonderful question" "just wave your hand when my time is up and I'll stop" "oh look at me, I stayed under my time!"

i seriously almost threw up....he was so fucking terrible...he reminded me of asshole kids in high school....mean, horrible, kiss ass, two-faced, FAKE, do anything to hurt other perople, rude people...which makes perfect sense, cause i'm willing to bet that most of those fine kids are supporting the douche...but lets not go there right now...that is definitely a post for another day...

i think i may stop here for now...because I have been rambling, and I could potentially go on and on, but I don't feel like it at the moment, and I think I may go running because I am an obese whale...and those around me for some reason like to constantly remind me of it...dont get me wrong, im not happy with how i look right now either...but i am also not exactly pleased to be told how gross i look...but whatever -- Que Sera, Sera

past rants, prior to the blog life

being the "tell anyone who will listen" type of person that I am...I willingly open up about my life (well obviously) in quite public ways...por ejemplo (thats spanish for "for example", im smart like that), beginning in my high school years (possibly middle school?) up until..my junior year of college, i often used my 'away message' as my own personal blog -- which apparently became well known to everyone who had me as a 'buddy' because i discovered that i had quite a number of fans who would look forward to my ever-changing away messages..

ANYWAY...i'm cleaning my computer, like the things on it, not the actual computer :) and i came across a document which was originally an away message that I had wrote but I guess it was too long (whats up with limiting the number of characters?! laammee) so i saved it in a document for whatever reason..i will never be able to explain why i do anything that i do...especially when it is something i did 3 years ago. blah blah blah, so i read it and i decided i would post it on here, because i liked it, and this is my blog, and i am pretty much the only one that reads it and i want it on here! soooooo ok...this is me...blogging before i had a blog :)


maybe its the philosophy ive been reading for the past 4 hours or maybe its the adderall...but honestly i dont understand this world at all. why is it possible to possess so many feelings for certain people and nothing for others, and why can't it always be reciprocal, like how is it possible to want someone who wants nothing to do with you, and WHY don't we ever want the people that want us. why cant we accept things for what they are, and why do people always have to leave. its like you finally are happy, but thats not enough, it has to be ruined. its as if nothing can ever go right and once it starts to, something happens to ruin it. its bullshit. and then once you finally let go, and you get over one ordeal you immediately have something else to deal with. i know everyone is looking for something but dont we all want essentially the same thing. no one wants nothing, nothing is meaningless, if things were meaningless there would be no purpose for their existence so that theory is obviously flawed. im sorry for my rant, but im so sick of feeling this way, i hate wanting things i cant have, and i hate wondering if thats the only reason i want them. i want clarity. so offer me a class on why we let single beings affect our everyday life, our every thought. why stupid thoughtless actions, rope us in and tie us down to feelings that we never wanted to feel. how do you fix situations when you dont even know the reason for their existence. i am a believer in fate and things happening for a reason, but lately i cant help but question it. recently it seems as if everything that happens has no reason other than to fuck with me, and im sick of it. i want clarity. i want a clear mind. i want to be in control of my feelings. but i have learned very well, that we dont always get what we want. and im not so sure we always get what we need either, so maybe the rolling stones just had no idea what they were talking about. because who is to determine what we need? sure the essentials, food, water, sleep, etc...but we need more than that, and i know for a fact we don't always get it. i guess im done my rant although it has failed in easing my mind. i should get to the study lounge anyway. i guess all we can do is hope that things will work themselves out or have faith that happiness will resurface at some point, one way or another...